archives and other scraps

REPOST:
Preparing more for the feature film “Mrs.Vera’s Daybook” following “Verasphere a Love Story in Costume”
​short film both by filmmaker Robert James and for the Verasphere Archive at the a San Francisco Public Library Hormel LGBTQ Archives :
Did someone say “archive” ?

• Preparing more for the feature film “Mrs.Vera’s Daybook” following “Verasphere a Love Story in Costume”short film both by filmmaker Robert James and for the Hormel Library Verasphere Archive in San Francisco:Did someone say “archive”? I am discovering so many paper bits that have been scattered from studio move to studio move and stashed away during bouts of poor health back in the day.early drawings photographs postcards I published performance programs from puppet daze and more .Robert is getting a professional archivist to help me after Pride month.i am so glad because it can be overwhelming to someone like myself who makes a mess in order to create .Also it is not without some notable emotional impact , pure joy with an insidiously deep heartfelt sadness as loss pierces the wavering appearance that everything is and has been “ok” because I am a 30 plus years ”survivor” The mercurial pain of unfathomable loss makes for a curious personal collective set of creative expressions , (insert Phoenix reference here) if one “survives ” at least in my case . I create as much and often as I can in spite of feeling a sense of constant stasis between then and now ,perhaps the inevitable persistence of memory, or just realizing time has moved on faster than my emotions . Yet I did not survive and thrive this remarkably well by being frozen in time ,nor was any of it done alone .For the record , I would take all the lost friends lovers hopes and dreams back any time over the cruel reality of that pandemic wherein so many “ futures” literally vanished endlessly ,thus throwing off the balance in degrees of queer separation and kindred strength for a couple of lifetimes and countless lives in immeasurable ways.